Graceland

It's been about three weeks since I first learned that my buddy, Al, had committed suicide.

If you told me a month ago that The Master Baiter and I would be searching for an appropriate place to spread his ashes, I wouldn't have believed it could be possible.

The entire experience has been surreal.

After 4 a.m. in the Golden State it feels like the best thing I can do, as a tribute to my buddy, is go back to where we started, the music from Paul Simon's Graceland album....

The Boy In The Bubble:



Under African Skies:



I Know What I Know:



Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes:



Homeless:



Graceland:

Tweet Of The Day

At The Edge Of My Country, My Back To The Sea, Looking East

"One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human."
- George Santayana

We couldn't have hit the road for The Final Road Trip without...


If Al was here today I have no doubt he'd tell you that Bob Dylan was the pre-eminent song writer of the 1960s and that Jackson Browne took the baton and ran with it in the 1970s.

In 2003 Rolling Stone magazine included three of his albums in it's list of the 500 best albums of all time, For Everyman, Late for the Sky and The Pretender.

I've seen Jackson Brown a half dozen times over the years, three times with Al.

The first time we saw him in concert was 1978, the year this video was recorded...



When we were going to school at Park College it wasn't unusual to hear Running On Empty playing in either of our rooms...



Doctor My Eyes from his debut album was a favorite we shared...



Another was the title track from The Pretender...




The last time we saw him was in the mid-90s when he toured in support of Looking East. We both like some of the stuff on that album and I'm Alive which preceded it, but agreed his early work was what we liked best.

Sorry to say, I can't think of a better video with which to close out this post than the title track from I'm Alive...

Headed South From Humboldt County {The Last Road Trip - Part 9}

Photographs by Kilroy_60

Humboldt County, California is well known for two things, marijuana and redwood trees. Today I made a point of partaking in both.

I sent some of LeadGuitar's Humboldt County homegrown to Shangri La, my mountain retreat, and we took an ounce with us to enjoy as we roll down the coast.

If walking among the redwoods was all I needed before punching my ticket I could go today without objection. I've lived a charmed life and spending time in the cathedral of the redwoods was extraordinary.

For about a half-hour I actually considered whether spreading Al's ashes among the redwoods would be fitting. I couldn't recall him ever speaking with any passion about trees, though, and when all was said and done neither The Master Baiter nor I felt it would be Right.

It feels like a good time to pop in Graceland.

Rocky Mountain High {...The Last Road Trip - Installment 8}

"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar."
-Robert Brault

{The story of...} The Last Road Trip - Installment 8

Before The Master Baiter and I set off with Al I conducted a detailed analysis of where things stand with each of the high profile projects I'm working on with clients.

I sent out a number of emails to appropriate personnel that would set new activities in motion, related to top priorities in each company, and fill any void created by my absence.

This has become standard operating procedure when I'll be traveling for an extended period.

While we were pulled off the road in Dodge City, Kansas last weekend I followed-up with key personnel at each of my client companies to update status reports, determine an appropriate course of action, to address immediate needs, and establish action items and target dates.

Once I had my ducks in line the next call was to Al's wife at La Alegría.

I let her know that The Master Baiter and I had considered New Mexico and Texas, but decided the best course of action would be to go Rocky Mountain High. She was pleased with that decision.


I did not give a second of forethought to the amount of time that would be required to find an appropriate place to spread Al's ashes. {Make that the Right place.} It was simply something that needed to be done without compromise.

What became apparent rather quickly is that we're not likely to find the Right place if we do nothing but cruise along the interstate highway system.

Part of the joy of traveling, when you do so simply For the joy of traveling, is Experiencing the trip as much as possible. That's something Al and I thrived on and we were looking forward to when we talked about taking a trip.

(As I write I'm listening to...)



When we came to Colorado I was sure we would find what we are looking for. After a few days, though, I began to question whether we were doing the right thing.

Al and I always enjoyed going to the mountains, but neither the Alleghenies nor the Blue Ridge compare with the Rockies.

While we never went to the beach together, both of us loved the time we spent at the seashore. I began to wonder whether it would be better to explore the Pacific Coast than the Rocky Mountains.


The Master Baiter made a few calls and was able to connect with a friend who agreed to fly us from Grand Junction Regional Airport to Arcata/Eureka Airport in Humboldt County, California.

Whether that friend thought I took him seriously or not when he said, "Call me any time" after we went to Perdido Key, Florida back in January I don't know, but it Worked.

Years ago my fraternity brother, LeadGuitar, moved to Humboldt County and began cultivating marijuana. He was the first one to school me in the art of growing and he puts out a crop comparable to K60 bud.

I expect we'll be here for a day or two and then will hit the road. That's all for now, I have to spin another number and grab a bite to eat.

Photographs by Kilroy_60

The Last Waltz

The Last Waltz, by legendary director Martin Scorsese, ranks as one of the greatest Rock 'n' Roll movies of all-time.

In fact, The Last Waltz is considered by some to be the greatest concert film ever made.



I've made reference a number of times to "the Soundtrack" for The Last Road Trip. In that vein, if there's a soundtrack for my life it would have to include a number of cuts from The Last Waltz.



Over the past 30 years I've seen The Last Waltz in movie theaters a half dozen times and with friends in our homes more times than I can count.

I'd imagine albums and CDs of The Last Waltz rank among the gift I've given to friends more than any other over the years.

When it was released on DVD early in this decade I picked up a copy for myself and a number of friends.



It warmed my heart when I earlier tonight that The Last Waltz was one of the DVDs Al carried in his rig.

We've been listing to the soundtrack, as it was a must have for The Last Road Trip, but seeing the movie was something I won't forget any time soon.



We went through a case of Coors, a bottle of Jack Daniels a quarter ounce of BC Bud and two boxes of nitrous oxide canisters tonight. At the moment I'm not feeling any pain.



I'm feeling conflicted about whether we're doing the right thing looking for an appropriate spot in the Rocky Mountains for Al or whether taking him to the Pacific Ocean would be better.

The Master Baiter's going to make a few calls later to see about arranging a flight.

Rocking Out With Neil In The Rockies

It's been odd for me to write about my buddy Al the past couple weeks.

He encouraged me when I told him I was going to start a blog and was a regular reader, but he asked me not to include him in my narrative.

What can I say? When he put that .357 in his mouth, I felt it was fair to void our agreement. Selah.

I've written a lot about music since I learned of Al's death because it's something that strengthened the bond between us.

We went to many concerts together over the years and the one artist we saw more often than any other was Neil Young. Over a 30-year span we saw Neil Young in concert a dozen times, including one Farm Aid and two Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young shows.

The first time we saw Neil play out he was touring in support of Rust Never Sleeps. That was a great show and it came as no surprise to either of us that a live album followed, Live Rust.

Neil rocked out with Crazy Horse on Like A Hurricane...



When Neil cut a country album, with the band The International Harvesters we had seats about 10 rows back and it was a fantastic show.

One of the songs they played was Back To The Country.

Here they are doing that tune on Austin City Limits, which Al and I watched together, in support of the Old Ways album...



Neil and the International Harvesters doing Hawks and Doves...



When we heard that Willie Nelson, another of our favorites, was putting together Farm Aid with Neil and John Mellencamp there was no question whether we'd be there.

It didn't matter that we went to Champaign, Illinois with no tickets. In fact that worked out rather well for us, we scored a pair of tickets and a pair of coeds on the University of Illinois campus. Ho Ho

Here are two great tunes from that Farm Aid show, My My Hey Hey and Heart Of Gold...




Going to Farm Aid was a natural for Al, of course, because he came from a farm family.

This was one of his Neil Young favorites, This Old House...



Seeing Neil play with the Bluenotes was a treat.

We both thought the title track from This Note's For You was a classic...



Ten Men Working was another favorite...



The last time we saw Neil play he was touring with Booker T. & the M.G.'s on the Harvest Moon tour.

This is the title track from that album...



It should come as no surprise that the soundtrack of The Last Road Trip has included a healthy does of Neil Young. We've been listening to Decade, Harvest, Harvest Moon, Live Rust, This Note's For You and Old Ways.

I picked up two Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young albums for the trip, 4 Way Street and CSNY/Deja Vu Live.

We saw the band's reunion tour back in 2000 and they played Ohio, of course...



The last time we saw them, in 2006, Let's Impeach The President was a favorite...



Thanks for all the great memories, Al. I miss you, buddy.

Pumping Up The Karma

About two weeks ago The Bat Phone rang at Black Squirrel Run.

I was planning to leave a few days later on a road trip with my buddy Al, so when his wife called on the private line I have set aside for my closest friends it didn't seem at all unusual.

Before I picked up the phone I didn't realize that it was early, 5:32 a.m., because I was working and friends are welcome to call The Bat Phone any time. As long as I'm available that's a line I'll pick up.

The news she had, though, was both unexpected and shocking. Al had committed suicide.

The next day I caught a plane, accompanied by TheSpecialOne and The Master Baiter, who is another of Al's friends. (For first time visitors, The Master Baiter is an attorney, a psychiatrist and a championship fisherman)

I should say here that my buddy's name is Paul, but we'd called him Al since the late 80s when Paul Simon released Graceland. It was his all-time favorite album and You Can All Me Al was the song with which he always seemed to be singing along.

I'd been looking forward to taking the road trip with Al. It wasn't going somewhere that interested me, but our time together that I was looking forward to.

It had been awhile since we'd been together, so when he phoned to say he wanted to see if I could take some time to get away from work it was a great surprise and I said yes straight away.

Al had gone through cancer treatment a few years before and was, as far as I knew, doing well.

What I didn't know at the time, what not even his wife knew, was that his cancer had returned and the prognosis was not good. It was, in fact, a terminal diagnosis.

The Master Baiter tells me that when people have a reoccurance of cancer and the prognosis is bad they sometimes see suicide as a better option, to save family and friends the pain of dealing with treatment.

I was, as I said, shocked. I was also, of course, both sad and angry. I've questioned myself, whether there was something I could have done, something I should have done differently....

Some years before Al and I saw John Prine in concert. On the way home from the show we were laughing about the song Please Don't Bury Me and we got to talking about what we wanted after death. Cremation and a memorial service, it turned out, was what we both wanted.

It came as a complete surprise to me to learn that Al told his wife when his time came I would know where to spread his ashes. That's a discussion of which I have absolutely no recollection.

His wife tells me that he trusted me to make the decision and she feel's the same, that as his best friend, long before he ever met her, I'd know better than anyone what he'd want.

When Al and I talked about going on the road our plan was to go with no plan.

After much deliberation (with Al's wife, TheSpecialOne and The Master Baiter) I decided hitting the road with no plan was exactly the best way to proceed. I would carry out his wish that I spread his ashes.

TheSpeialOne took Al's wife to La Alegría and I hit the road with The Master Baiter in Al's rig. (Having it cleaned was the first thing I arranged when I arrived at their house.)

The first location I seriously considered as being appropriate to spread Al's ashes was the Badlands in South Dakota.

When I phoned Al's wife at La Alegría she asked whether I was sure that's what I want to do.

It was the first time I'd spoken to her since we hit the road and it was the only time she's questioned anything I was doing. That led me to believe it was not a good choice.

Before we left their house, I was able to convince Al's wife to keep some of his ashes. She'd asked me at the time to do the same, before spreading them wherever I felt would be appropriate. When we spoke, she emphasized again that's something it's important to her that I do.

I've never spent any time analyzing the relationships I have with my friends.

It's been interesting, over the past couple weeks, reliving good times I shared with Al, recalling battles won and lost and questioning myself about some things.

At times I've been angry that he picked up a .357 magnum instead of the telephone.

The trip started to wear a bit on both The Master Baiter and myself so we took a few days off from the road.

Before getting on with the trip yesterday morning I cooked a special breakfast, something to pump up our karma.


Perogies were one of Al's favorite foods. I can't tell you how many times we ate them by the dozen while watching Steelers games.

I couldn't think of anything better to get us to where we need to be than a breakfast of sausange and perogies, cooked with onions and green peppers.

{Thanks to The Master Baiter for snapping photos for this post.}

Now You Can Follow @Kilroy_60 On Twitter

Yes, it's true, I'm now on Twitter...


I'll be tweeting as a supplement to and a way of promoting The Gonzo Papers.

I've always valued the sense of community that exists between bloggers and that I've found in the stumbletron. Given that, I don't expect it to be a problem to find my place in the twitterverse.

I'll be following those who follow me and will be assisting bloggers to promote their content as long as they're promoting mine. RT me and I'll RT you is a good guide by which to tweet, I'd say.

If you check out my page you'll see that I have my location set as Tehran.

That's because Iranian government's security forces are hunting for bloggers using location/timezone searches. By setting the location to Tehran and my time zone as GMT +3.30 I'm helping create a logjam for those forces trying to shut down access to the internet for the Iranian people.

Be clear here, I do not support the government of Iran. What I do support is human rights and personal freedom.

As far as the background I chose for my page, that will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me already and it's the best way I can introduce myself to anyone who doesn't.

A tribute to the Steelers Nation...



Myron Cope and The Terrible Towel...



Super Bowl XLIII Game Winning Touchdown...




The Super Bowl XLIII Champs are... going to Disney World!



The Pittsburgh Steelers Polka...

Pulled Off To The Side Of The Road

The intensity of this trip has has become such that The Master Baiter and I agreed it would be best to pull off to the side of the road for a day or three.

"Going back to self-realization, one guru said he found no separation between man and God, saving man's spiritual unadventurousness, and that's the catch, everybody's so unadventurous. We're all conditioned, our consciousness has been so polluted by the material energy it's hard to try and pull it all ways in order to really discover our true nature. Every one of us has within us a drop of that ocean and we have the same qualities as God, just like a drop of the ocean has the same qualities as the whole ocean. Everybody's looking for something and we are it. We don't have to look anywhere --- it's right there within ourselves."
- George Harrison

George Harrison, hands down, was Al's favorite Beatle. "The Quiet Beatle" was known as much for his spirituality as his music.

Harrison, later in life, came to think of himself more as a gardener than a musician and he dedicated his autobiography "to gardeners everywhere."




I remember fondly listening to All Things Must Pass the first time I visited Al's house. Years later it was Cloud Nine and Best of Dark Horse 1976-1989.



It's no surprise that we were both fans of The Traveling Wilburys. Al, in fact, gave a number of friends, including The Master Baiter and myself, both the Wilbury CDs as gifts.



Tonight (it's after 3 AM which is still Saturday night to me), for the first time, both The Traveling Wilburys and George Harrison were added to The Last Road Trip's soundtrack.

After Harrison's death The Master Baiter gave Al and me a copy of The Dark Horse Years 1976-1992 which included songs George recorded with Eric Clapton when they toured Japan.

To this day The Master Baiter has a framed postcard in his office that he received in 1991. Al sent it from Japan when he was there to see Harrison and Clapton in concert.




The Master Baiter has started work on an article discussing the importance of spirituality for people in treatment for depression and I'm going to bed.

I leave you with The Traveling Wilburys, Handle With Care...

10 of the Best Videos on YouTube from Seinfeld

I've never spent any time analyzing the relationships I have with my friends. For about a week and a half, though, I've thought a lot about a lost friend.

It's been interesting, reliving good times shared, recalling battles won and lost, questioning myself about some things and, at times, being angry that he picked up a .357 magnum instead of the telephone.

Al and I watched Seinfeld {aka "the show about nothing"} together many times. We laughed a lot and there was never a single episode we tired to watching.

One of things I found going through Al's laptop is a directory with my name on it. That directory includes several files including one of YouTube videos from Seinfeld.

I've selected these... 10 of the Best Videos on YouTube from Seinfeld, "the show about nothing":

Jimmy...



George Costanza Does The Opposite...



Elaine Benis Dances...



The Pony Remark...



The Contest...



Festivus...



The Merv Griffin Set...



The Soup Nazi...



Jackie Chiles, The Coffee Case...



Mr. Bookman, The Library Cop...

The Sky Is Crying

BB King, Albert King and Stevie Ray Vaughan... The Sky is Crying



Al and I were both fans of Stevie Ray Vaughan. He saw him in concert a number of times over the years.

I was lucky enough to see one of those shows with Al and The Master Baiter. Understandably, we couldn't take this final road trip without the blues virtuoso as part of our soundtrack.

The Essential Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble could be heard booming through the Badlands yesterday.

The Last Road Trip - Part 6

The first location I seriously considered as being appropriate to spread Al's ashes was the Badlands in South Dakota.

Al and I both read and enjoyed Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72. We agreed it was interesting that the Democrats had chosen a candidate in that pivotal year (George McGovern) from a state not many people know about, let alone ever see.

When I phoned Al's wife at La Alegría, where she's staying with TheSpecialOne until this adventure ends, she asked whether I was sure that's what I want to do.

It was the first time I'd spoken to her since we hit the road and it was the only time she's questioned anything I was doing. That led me to believe it was not a good choice.

Al's wife is aware that I forwarded calls from The Bat Phone to a mobile phone I have with me and that she could call at any time if she had any questions or requests.

I was honored to hear that she's been following my blog posts. While I'm afraid her comments on what I've been posting are overly generous it was a conversation I will forever treasure.

Before we left their house, I was able to convince Al's wife to keep some of his ashes. She'd asked me at the time to do the same, before spreading them wherever I felt would be appropriate. When we spoke, she emphasized again that's something it's important to her that I do.

We're heading South now and, again, our destination is undetermined.

Photographs by Kilroy_60

For as long as I knew Al he always had at least one Cadillac, but never had a new one. In fact, it was the older ones with the big fins that he most enjoyed driving.

Coincidentally, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band was one of Al's favorite bands and Bruce recorded two well known songs featuring Cadillacs.

When we saw Bruce and the boys in 1985 we were lucky enough to be at a show where they did Pink Cadillac. The song had been bumped from the Born In The U.S.A. album, but was the B-side of the Dancing In The Dark record that Al had on a juke box in his family room.

Here's a great version of Pink Cadillac...



The other song that we both loved was Cadillac Ranch. I'd say, without any question, that this ranked as one of Al's all-time favorites.

Here's a fantastic version of Cadillac Ranch from the 1985 tour...



The Master Baiter and I have listened to this one more than once, both on The River and Live 1975-1985.

Tears In Heaven {aka The Last Road Trip - Part 5}

I had a long talk with my buddy Al's wife before hitting the road with The Master Baiter.

One of things she asked me to do is to clean up Al's laptop as much as I can. I felt it would be an invasion of their privacy, but she assured me that she has no concern in that area and said it would be a great help to her.

It turns out Al has a file set aside for photographs I shot that he received in email. This is one that has never before appeared in The Gonzo Papers...


Anyone who has been reading this blog for any period of time may know that I don't give gifts on holidays when they're expected.

The last time I saw Al I had a half dozen CDs for him. He accepted them graciously and asked what the occasion was. I responded that it was Wednesday or the 17th of the month or some such thing.

One was Riding with the King, a 2000 collaboration between B.B. King and Eric Clapton that won the 2001 Grammy Award for Best Traditional Blues Album. I picked that one up to bring on this trip.

Over the years Al and I saw both B.B. King and Eric Clapton live in concert.

I can't help but remember seeing Clapton in a late 1990s concert when he toured in support of the album Pilgrim. Among the songs he played on that tour, backed by a symphony orchestra, was Tears In Heaven.

Here's Clapton playing the song at Madison Square Garden in 1999...



B.B. King and Eric Clapton, along with Phil Collins, playing The Thrill Is Gone...

Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Are You Kidding Me?

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were in the Costa Rican jungle recently for a television show. If either of these famous-for-nothing jackasses came knocking on the door at La Alegría I'd sic my dog on them.

Spencer Pratt is a self important dimwit. As for Heidi Montag, to characterize her as stupid would be an insult to idiots.

Celebrities? Not in the universe I live in.

To conclude, I'd have to say Heidi Montag's upcoming appearance in Playboy doesn't say anything positive about Hef's brand.



I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! has to rank as the most ill conceived, worst produced "reality show" in the history of broadcast television.

The Last Road Trip - Part 4

I think... A sunset shared, with the right person, can be a spiritual experience.
- Kilroy_60
17 July, 2007

Photographs by Kilroy_60

The first time I went to Al's house he dropped the needle on a David Bromberg album.

It was the 1972 release Demon in Disguise; an album that featured tales of traveling with Jerry Jeff Walker and a seven-minute rendition of Mr. Bojangles.

I saw David Bromberg in concert with Al three times. So, naturally, I made a point of including Bromberg in the soundtrack for our last road trip, The Player: A Retrospective.

The Dyin' Crapshooter's Blues is a tune both Al and I liked, but it's not on this CD. Check it out...



We're getting closer to a location that will be appropriate to spread Al's ashes. While I feel that's true, I still don't have any idea where it's going to be.

Al was a huge fan of sunsets.

I couldn't count how many times over the years that we pulled off the road or he stepped out of a party to watch the sun go down.

When he bought property to build a house one of his top criteria was a spot where he'd have a good view of sunsets in his living room's picture window.

Needless to say, The Master Baiter understood why it was important to me to catch this sunset last night. It came, seemingly, as a tribute to our friend as we take our last road trip....

All My Life's A Circle {aka The Last Road Trip - Part 3}

Photograph by Kilroy_60

It seems like I've been here before;
I can't remember when;
But I have this funny feeling;
That we'll all be together again.
No straight lines make up my life;
And all my roads have bends;
There's no clear-cut beginnings;
And so far no dead-ends.
- Harry Chapin
All My Lifes A Circle

I've seen John Gorka in concert once and both Al and The Master Baiter were there with me. We all loved it.

Who'd have thought when we each bought copies of this CD at the show that the three of us would be riding along together as we are today?

"And that's all I have to say about that."
- Forrest Gump

John played both these songs when we saw him. I hope you enjoy them, we did.

People My Age...



Writing In The Margins...

The Last Road Trip - Part 2

"The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends."
- Cicero

Photograph by Kilroy_60

I snapped this photograph of the moon last night.

The Master Baiter and I were sitting outside the rig drinking Johnnie Walker Blue Label and smoking Cohiba Esplendidos.

Over a span of about 25 years I went to John Prine concerts with my buddy Al three times.

Needless to say, when I went CD shopping for music to serve as a soundtrack for my final road trip with Al I made a point of including his music.

I went with Great Year, The John Prine Anthology. It was one of the CDs I'd given him when we were last together.

Please Don't Bury Me was a song we both enjoyed a lot.



Listening to this song reminded me of a discussion we'd had after seeing John Prine for the second time.

We were drinking Rolling Rock beer, smoking BC Bud and laughing about Please Don't Bury Me. It was then that we first discussed our shared desire for being cremated and having a memorial service.

Amazing how that thought didn't strike me prior to last night, when I was visiting with Al's wife. I still don't recollect any discussion about my spreading his ashes or him mine, but that's neither here nor there.


I was checking out the bookmarks on Al's laptop this morning and found he had The Gonzo Papers tagged as a favorite. That made me feel good.

When I logged in to Site Meter after seeing that I was amazed to find the number of visits (since 6 March, 2007) was 55,555.

55,555, can you believe it? I can't imagine being able to hit a number like that on the counter purposefully if I was looking for it!!

The Last Road Trip - Part 1

"He who doesn't fear death dies only once."
- Giovanni Falcone

I regret the interruption in what passes for normal ebb and flow, both in my life and with this blog.

A week ago I was looking forward to taking a road trip. Beyond getting ready for that there were just a few items I needed to handle for clients.

TheSpecialOne had gone to spend the weekend with her sister and I was up proofreading the latest chapter of a book I'm ghostwriting for one of my clients.

The Bat Phone rang at 5:32.

That's a phone line I had installed with a number that only my closest friends have. Regardless of the time, when the Bat Phone rings if I'm available I'll answer it.

It was the wife of my buddy with whom I was going to be hitting the road., she called to say he'd committed suicide. At first I thought I misheard her. But, no, my buddy Al was gone.

When Al and I talked about going on the road our plan was to go with no plan.

After much deliberation I've decided hitting the road with no plan is exactly the best way to proceed as I carry out his wish that I spread his ashes.

TheSpeialOne took Al's wife to La Alegría this morning and I hit the road with The Master Baiter. Our direction is west.

Today we drove until coming upon a spot I thought Al would like to spend the evening. As I'm writing we're listing to another of the CDs I bought for the trip, The Road to Ensenada by Lyle Lovett.

That's Right (You're Not From Texas) was one of his favorite tunes...

In The Middle Of The Night I Go Walking In My Sleep

I don't know why I go walking at night
But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore
I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life
Until I find what it is I've been looking for
- Billy Joel
The River of Dreams

You may have noticed that I've been in a bad humor of late.

I'd been looking forward to taking a road trip this week with my buddy Al. It wasn't going somewhere that interested me, but our time together that I was looking forward to.

A few years ago he'd gone through cancer treatment and was doing well.

While big companies who are experiencing financial difficulty have received a lot of publicity, a lot of small businesses, and their employees, have suffered through the economic downturn we've experienced over the past year.

Given that I typically work with small to medium-sized companies in my consulting practice I've faced a number of challenges helping my clients stem the tide.

When Al phoned to say he wanted to see if I could take some time to get away from work it was a great surprise and I said yes straight away.

What I didn't know at the time, what not even his wife knew, was that his cancer had returned and the prognosis was not good. It was, in fact, a terminal diagnosis.

A few days before we were due to get together Al put a .357 magnum in his mouth. I was, needless to say, shocked. I was also, of course, both sad and angry. I've question myself, whether there was something I could have done, something I should have done differently....

Something that Al and I agreed on was that instead of a funeral we both wanted cremation and a memorial service. Beyond that I don't ever recall any discussion.

What I didn't know until yesterday was that he told his wife when the time came I'd know where to spread his ashes.

I'm hoping that tonight we're going to be able to come up with a resolution regarding what to do. His wife tells me that he trusted me to make the decision and she feel's the same, that as his best friend, long before he ever met her, I'd know better than anyone what he'd want.

I went shopping for music to take on the road, wherever that turns out to be, and picked up Billy Joel's River of Dreams. That was another album we both enjoyed and listened to frequently when we were together.



A special note to my friends on StumbleUpon, both yesterday and today some of you clearly did not appreciate my approach or my comments regarding the handling of shared content.

First, let me say, I have no apology to offer.

Not everyone on StumbleUpon generates or shares their own content. I regret those people in my circle of friends received messages intended for people who do share content, but don't visit The Gonzo Papers unless I send posts to them through SU.

My use of StumbleUpon's share feature has never been in line with how most people us it. I like to keep in touch with my friends, because I feel that being friends means more than clicking a button, and I think that as a friend people should be interested in what I'm posting online.

There's one thing I'd like to emphasize about stumbling.

If you think I'm going to be stumbling your content when you don't visit The Gonzo Papers on your own, without me sending you a share, you're likely to be disappointed.

As for me visiting your blog, without you sending me something, I'm open to exchanging links. I'm much more likely to visit other blogs with whom I've exchange links than those I have not. If that's something you want to do, let me know.

Don't Want To End Up A Cartoon, In A Cartoon Graveyard

This is as close as I've come to The Big Chill.

It's been good to have The Master Baiter, and his prescription pad, here. Both for Al's widow and myself.

We'll be visiting with her for another day or three, then we're hitting the road. Destination, at this point, undetermined.

Picked up a new copy of Graceland to play on the road.

Still Crazy After All These Years

I was planning to hit the road this week with my buddy Al.

Yesterday morning his wife called to say Al had splattered his brains all over their travel trailer.

His cancer had returned and treatment was not something he wanted to pursue, better to save family and friends the pain of dealing with that.

Interesting thing, my buddy's name was Paul. We'd called him Al since the late 80s when Graceland came out, it was his all time favorite album. {You Can Call Me Al}



I'll be attending the memorial service. At this moment I don't have any plans beyond that.

Going Balls To The Wall In The Swiss Alps

There Wasn't Much Time For Blogging This Week

It was a long week. With 60 billable hours there was barely enough time for debauchery.

The salvation of my work week was getting out to play 18 holes with GoIrish! at his private club. It's great getting paid to play golf, although it's not good for my game.


I take a microcassette recorder in the cart and we talk things over between holes. This week it was ideas to boost the financial performance of companies in which he's invested.

Yesterday I started work late and finished early. I spent most of the day in The Writer's Refuge, that's where I shot these irises.

Gladys And Herb

The Good Doctor had peacocks at his fortified compound in Woody Creek, Colorado. At Black Squirrel Run I have a nesting pair of mallard ducks, Gladys and Herb.


Gladys and Herb don't live at Black Squirrel Run, though, they're just regular visitors. There's a pond in a neighbor's back yard that I believe is their home.


I'm not sure how many years ago they started coming to Black Squirrel Run, but both Gladys and Herb are accustomed to seeing me out with my camera.

TheSpecialOne is entertained by my talking to them. Even more when they follow me back to The Writer's Refuge.

Buy The Ticket, Take The Ride - The Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas Board Game

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?”

So began the book by which all of Hunter S. Thompson's work would be measured for the remainder of his career, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - "A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream".


Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas first came to light as a two-part series in Rolling Stone in 1971; a year later the book was published.

16 years after it was released as a book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas became a movie starring Johnny Depp and Benicio del Toro.

Now, four years after Hunter S. Thompson's suicide, and nearly 40 years after it was first published, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is back. This time as a board game.


The thing that struck me funny when I first saw this is that I have a brief case I carry when I go on road trips that looks rather similar....


Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas sounds like an interesting game.

According to the rules, "The first player rolls his dice and moves his player.

There are three different spaces to land on. Yellow means dosing a certain amount of a drug specified by the dosing card. A scale is included in the game in order to get accurate measurements."


The rules continue, "Blue means going on an adventure or doing a fun activity. If a blue card requires driving, the sitter will always drive."

To conclude, the rules state, "Red cards are challenges that would be specifically hard for someone to accomplish while on various drugs. If you are unable to complete a challenge, you must move back three spaces on the board."

Spoiler Alert...

My friends know I don't buy gifts when they're "expected" such as at Christmas and other traditional gift giving holidays. This year I just might be giving copies of the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas board game, along with a case of Flying Dog beer.