Sunday, June 18, 2006

A Father's Day Thought

Photograph by Kilroy_60
It only requires sperm for a man to become a father. He needn't have the balls or the backbone to be there when the life he has created arrives. It takes much more for a man to be a dad...heart and soul.

My life has been cursed by the former and blessed by the latter. To borrow a quote, which I shall at this point not purse the attribution, There are no illegitimate children; only illegitimate parents.

The sad - the most painful - part is what a man deprives his offspring of sharing when he runs away to create another family. One is denied the opportunity to know a brother, or a sister, nieces and nephews...because a man lacked the will and the courage to take responsibility for doing the deed.

Child support payments do not make up for the actions of a coward. No, you do not get to take a mulligan in the game of life without penalty.

My biological father died last year. It's bad enough not to be able to stand up to the woman you had your way with. How much of a MAN are you when you run from your child the first time he lays eyes on you? If there's justice beyond this life there should be space set aside in a special corner of hell for pricks like he was.

Happy Father's Day is a misnomer. Fathers who are nothing more than sperm donors is a rampant problem. What it's really about is celebrating Dads. For that, I am thankful to be able to say Happy Day and Thank You, Dad.


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Mistress Regina said...

It appears clear that your mother possessed courage in a quantity equal to that which your father lacked balls.

CyberCelt said...

Here from the Blog Village Carnival. I am sorry your father was such a loser. However, better that he left than stayed to make your life worse.

God bless!

Anonymous said...

My sons were cursed by the former, too! What a blessing that you were blessed with a wonderful Dad!! I am visiting from the Blog Village Goes Gonzo Carnival!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry about having such a loser father. I'm glad you had a Dad though.

I was very blessed with my parents, I wish everyone had that.

(I'm visiting from the Blog Village Goes Gonzo Carnival.)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry about your dad, however, I think you are really brave to say: "I am thankful to be able to say Happy Day and Thank You, Dad."

Peace to you,


Anonymous said...

What a poignant post.. Here from the carnival.

Anonymous said...

I'm inclined to agree with CyberCelt. You were better off not having that kind of influence around you. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Our adopted daughter always had a hole in her that we couldn't fill, because someone had left her. So I have just the tiniest inkling of how you must have felt as a child.

I'm glad you had a good man in your life to call Dad!!

Anonymous said...

I have a wonderful father and if it wasn't for him I would not have survived when the father of my children walked out on us. My daughter most assuredly would know what you have gone through and I can only hope and pray that I can walk her through life successfully. All I can do, as a single mom, is love her the best I can.

Thanks for all your hard work on this carnival. God bless ya.

Heather in Beautiful BC said...

Nice tribute to your Dad.

This Carnival is great - I've had lots of visitors and am now trying to get around to read as many as possible :) Thanks.

JHS said...

Thank you for your hard work to make the carnival a success!

You have every right to be angry at your biological father and consider him a coward. I hope that you are able to find a way to forgive him and be at peace with what you have had to deal with in your lifetime.

RUTH said...

How true this is; my husband is not my children's biological father yet he is more their "Dad" than their blood father.

Stjernesol said...

I'm sorry your father left, no child should haveto experience that...

TOMAS said...

Here from the Blog Village Carnival.

Your hearty article invites each reader to test his own heart and reminds about the personal responsibility-about the cost of our joys.

While nice wishes just warm our faces, your words cause to jump and to question ourselves; either we did everything we could to do for there was though one smile more?

What have I done myself for to dry the tears from though one on my road?

We all rejoice at a play of sunbeams, but the light is much more than that. The light reveals all dirt on our earthly path- it helps us thus not to stumble on a road, but to avoid the traps and overcome all obstacles for we could become worthy of life that was receive as underserved by us gift.

Marion said...

Some biological fathers or mothers, for that matter, even if they do stay, can make themselves unavailable emotionally to the family, and that hurts a lot, too.

I'm glad your stepfather deserves a happy Day!

LJP said...

This is so true. There is a lot more to being a parent than just being a 'biological' parent.

Here from the Blog Village Carnival

Leanderthal, Lighthouse Keeper said...

I can't imagine how much your heart must hurt to think of your Father as a prick.

My children were grown when my wife to me that if she had it to do over again she wouldn't marry me. I took care of her problem.

Lighthouse Keeper

isabella mori said...

as a mother whose first partner decided to bow out after a few years, i have a bit of a sense for what you're talking about.

are these guys pricks? i don't know. society makes it VERY easy for them to do it. when we feel overwhelmed, hurt and confused and someone gives us an easy out, many of us can't resist the temptation and run.