Saturday, November 11, 2006

Train, Train...Hop Aboard

"A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education." - George Bernard Shaw

Every now and then, writing comments on someone else's post brings forth something bloggable.

Caution, Free Flowing Stream of Consciousness Area...

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{*} One day I went to the mall, there was a Burger King you could pass through to get into the mall. As I was leaving the "restaurant" there was a woman sitting in the last booth; she was holding a cigarette. "Do you have a light?" she asked. I stopped and asked, "You smoke and you don't have fire?" She said, "I just started smoking." Anxiously, she asked again. "Do you have a light?" Just to confirm, "You just started smoking cigarettes?" I'm an inquisitive sort, you see, wondering why this beautiful woman has decided to take up smoking cigarettes. "Yes," she said again. "Do you have a light?" It took me a few more seconds to process the information. "If you're going to smoke," I said. "Smoke pot." I walked off as she sat with her mouth open.

{*} I have a friend, CoolCat, who has moved several times over the years. So much so, I have had to devote a page of my address book to him. The first time I met his fiance, she was on her way out to work. Her parting words to him were to take care of the cat. There was an endtable between the two recliners we were sitting in. The cat sat on the table as we passed the bong back and forth...breathing deep. At one point, he was folloing the bong as it was passed and fell off the table.

{*} Have you ever gotten fish high? I'm an aquarium enthusiast, freshwater. One day I went to the petstore to buy a new fish; for some reason the guy asked what kind of fish I had. When I pointed to this one, and that one, this one down here and that one over there...he said, those fish aren't supposed to live together. Luckily, the fish didnt know. I came to find that if you sprinkle pot into the tank, the fish will eat it. Unlike fishfood, though, that they will eat until they die...they only eat as much pot as it takes for them to get high. You can tell...some stop swimming, seeming to hang in suspended animation, while others start chasing one another wildly.

{*} There was one place CoolCat lived that I just could not seem to find. So, I would get off the highway, stop at a supermarket and call him. He'd come to meet me and I'd follow him to the house. One snowy day I pulled into the plaza after driving a few hours...and smoking on the way. Before I walked around the car to the payphone, I gave the cardoor a push to get it out of the way of oncoming traffic. And I pushed just that much too hard...closing and locking the door. I didn't carry AAA in those days; I called the police to unlock the car. Never giving any thought to the mound of roaches sitting on the console. When the officer came he shined a flashlight into the car; which was odd since it was daylight. Then, he popped open the door, told me to travel safely and went on his way. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

{*} I went to see the Pirates one opening day at Three Rivers Stadium with TheSloth. Three Rivers had gates at certain areas that seperated the reserved seating area from general admission. There was a line of people going through; I prompted TheSloth to come with me jumping in at the end of the line. After checking the first few tickets, the usher waved the rest of us through. We picked a section along the third base line about halfway down toward the field. At one point, the usher came and chased off a few kids who didn't have tickets for the seats. I still can't figure out why, when a couple came who had tickets for our seats, that the usher didn't eject us. Especially since we moved closer to the field. The stadium filled, but nobody came with tickets for your seats. We had taken a bus to the game; neither of us wanting to drive there and we both wanted to drink at the game. TheSloth looked like his head was on a swivel going back and forth when I pulled out my bowl to fill it. After a couple bowls, we started hailing down food vendors. The woman sitting in front of us looked back everytime we smoked; as much as she could without turning her head. 8-) At one point, is there a common theme here?, my lighter died. It was about the seventh inning; I'd overpacked the bowl so we wouldn't need anymore. The woman's husband was smoking a cigar. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked for a light. When he lit the bowl I thought his wife was going to lose her mind...You lit that for them, she said. Why did you light that for them? After the game ended, I couldn't help but ask one of the people how much the seats cost. They were $20; we paid $5. The Pirates won; it was a good day.

{*} When I went to TheFatman's wedding, I took an ounce and a quarter ounce of coke. There were alot of fraternity brothers and little sisters there. I had moved temporarily to another state to do a consulting job; while I was there my driver's license expired. While I had a license plate from the state where I was living, I renewed my driver's license by mail with the address in the other state where I was living at the time. That way I didn't have to deal with taking a driver's test. Anoter issue was that I was focusing my attention on two specific clients. By the time I went to the wedding, I'd transitioned from one client to the other which required moving from one state to another. We hit the open bar liberally at the wedding reception; eventually I made my way to the car with one of the bridesmaids. It was a long night. The next morning when I left for hom, I didn't get far from the motel when I saw flashing red and blue lights in my rearview mirror. After the officer came and took my license back to the car, I looked over and saw coke all over the passenger seat. As I glanced into the mirror, I reached over, dabbing it up and rubbing it on my gums. I was well numbed when I looked again and saw him waving me back to the car. I didn't have any problem with my driving record, but he wanted to know the story with my license. I explained about the consulting assignment and that I was moving back there; I didn't see any reason to mention I was living then in a different state. When he took my contact information to write no the speeding ticker, I believe I gave him a portion of the address from one state and a portion from the other state. Nor purposefully, but due to the fact I'd had a few joints before leaving the motel that morning. Years later when I renewed my license, nothing was ever said. I'm not sure what happened with that ticket, but I know I never paid it.

{*} I had an English Composition class. The first time I went, when the professor was going over the sillybus she said that we never had to come to class. She didn't take attendance into account when she graded. If we missed handing in any assignments, we would get "0" and she didn't accept anything late. There was one paper that would account for 2/3 of the grade that was due at the end of the term. Come time to hand the paper in, I had no idea what I wanted to write about. I was playing Othello and smoking with one of my theatre friends. She had a lot of good ideas, being a very creative sort, but we didn't come up with anything I could write about. There was a 24 hour newsstand that had a couple dozen pinball machines a few blocks from school. We got in our call just before the pizza place stopped taking orders; being regular customers the guy didn't mind stopping at the bar next door to grab us a six pack. After dessert, I went to play pinball. It was an interesting place, you never knew when there might be a bum sleeping under the machines back in the corner. In those days, scoring a million points on a mchine was a big deal, and you racked up three free games when you turned the machine over. What a great sound it was when that hammer racked against the side of the machine --- pop pop pop. While I was playing, this guy walks over where my coat is sitting on the glass of the machine next to me. He asked if anyone was playing that machine. I told him I was and, dramatically, told him to get out of the way...that I couldn't see the machine. It was about that time when the machine went pop pop pop. I caught the ball on the flipper, and looked at the guy. He turned around, without saying a word, and walked out. I went back to school, went to the student lounge and wrote a paper about this experience. My friend was on her way to catch the shuttle to The Playhouse that morning; she stopped in to see that had happened to me after I left her. I was just finishing my paper; at just about nine o'clock when the class started. I was there when she walked in. I haned in my paper and left. I got an A for the class.

...Time for a snack. I'm thinking, flour tortilla with steak, cheddar cheese, lettuce, sour cream
and peach salsa.

Photograph by Kilroy_60

"20 of 1,000"


Anonymous said...

You can flat out tell a story! Love them!

Annelisa said...

Can't imagine fish having memory enough to stop when they got their high, but then, if they're just floating around, I don't suppose they want to eat (oh, unless they got the munchies... :-))

The english paper's good one too - sometimes these experiences come along just at the right time!

But, most of all - love the picture! :-) Like a lost garden...

Annelisa said...

oh, btw, did you ever come over and see if you could find yourself in my my poem? I think you'll recognise yourself without actually clicking on the link! :-)

Mother of Invention said...

You sure have many tales to relate! You could have done a separate post on each one of these.

honkeie said...

I sure love life stories.....exspecally if they involve drugs, booze and get an A in a class while high!