Friday, December 29, 2006

Introducing The Cast...

Whether you're a first time visitor or an old friend, I thought it would be helpful to draw up a list of characters that have been introduced in The Gonzo Papers. As they say, you can't follow that game without a program...

TheSpecialOne, the woman in my life
TheRedhead, a playmate
TheArtist, a colleague and friend
MarthaStewartLite, friend of TheSpecialOne
MsGlass, TheSpecialOne's colleague who does stained glass

Family

TheTormentor
MyLovedOne
Mom
Dad
biological father
Aunt MyShitDoesn'tStink

Colleges

Park College
{I dated dance and theatre majors; my little sister was a photographer}
Vincent LaBrasca, Journalism Department Chairman

Fraternity Brothers
Big John
LeadGuitar
Potsie
Duffy

My Pledge Brothers
Weever
Biff - his son, Slacker and his daughter, HighMaintenance
Sapling
Peanuts
Gilligan
Hoss
CoolCat

University of Pennsylvania, Monongahela
{I dated education and nursing majors; my little sister was a basketball player}

I was the Sports Editor of the school newspaper
William Welch was the advisor

TheFatman, Chapter President
TheHammer, roommate first semester living in house
TheChief, roommate second semester living in the house*
TheSloth

*TheItalianGoddess replaced TheChief as my roommate; he moved into the dorm with her roommate

Friends/Acquaintances

The Master Baiter, a championship fisherman in Canada, is an Attorney and a Psychiatrist; he was my roommate at Park College my sophomore year when I pledged the fraternity

Bugsi
Slick
FinickyExaggerator
SchemesAlot

Clients

----(-)--> WeBeGreat Corporation {Don't call us telemarketers}
BigChiefTwoFaces, Chief Executive Officer
TheAnnointedOne, President
BullshitterSmokesALot, Sales Manager/Executive VP
ResultsSansEthics, Director of Operations
KnowsWhoseAssToKiss, Director of Client Relations
WantsToBeADiva, Director of Human Resources
WorksWithTiedHands, Director of IT
PlaysWellWithChildren, Corporate Training Manager

----(-)--> YouDoItOurWay Behavioral Healthcare
MakesNarcissusAppearModest, President and CEO
QueenBeeOfTheHive, Director of Human Resources
ColdHeartedBitch, Senior Vice President of Clinical Services
PutOnYourSeatbeltIt'sGonnaBeABumpyRide, Director of Outpatient Services
WalksAsGodOnEarth, MD, Medical Director
SeeNoProblemBeNoProblem, Director of Quality Assurance
YouWantThatDoneWhen?, Director of Health Information
DoYouWantFriesWithThat?, Director of Consumer Employment Services
AGeniusInMyOwnMind, Public Relations
SqueekyWheelGetsTheGrease, Consumer Advocate

----(-)--> CartoonCharacterFace's personnel placement firm
Recruiters:
BullshitterJokesAlot
SellsSnowconesToEskimos
OfficeMom
ShouldBeAnActor
Blonde&Blue-ScrewMeVoice
OnASmokeBreak
BitterDivorceeIsHorny
ThoughtI'dBeRetired

----(-)--> Ice Milk Dariy
GoIrish! - Entrepreneur, Provider of Financing
HowDidThingsGoSoWrong?, Owner & Friend of GoIrish!
AGoodOldSoldier, Manager
UnderTheInfluence, Full-Time Employee
Part-timers:
StringbeanPuffer
GooberNeedsASmoke
RollsWithTheTide

Author's Notes:
It's been interesting doing this quick analysis. I knew it was only fairly recently I started sharing these people. I didn't realize though how much I had really limited it.

Updated, January 12th

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love the knick names... I wonder if given the chance what you would bestow upon me... ;)

~M