Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Talking To My Spam

Spam...Dear friend,
Me.......I don't know you.
Spam...I NEED YOUR HELP.
Me.......Get in line.
Spam...I am expecting your urgent response.
Me.......Don't hold your breath.
Spam...From My Desk***Urgent Response Needed
Me.......Urgent to you doesn't mean I care.
Spam...I will appreciate your reply.
Me.......Don't be so sure.
Spam...You can start enjoying!
Me.......I already enjoy.
Spam...Is it true?
Me.......Yes, I'm having a blast!
Spam...Wish you were bigger?
Me.......No, I'm about 6'4".
Spam...Are you tired of not having enough money at the end of the month?
Me.......I have enough.
Spam...I have a house for you.
Me.......Now you want to sell me a house?
Spam...You really need it.
Me.......No, I really don't.
Spam...Size truly does matter!
Me.......It's big enough.
Spam...WORK AT HOME.
Me.......I do.
Spam...Working People Need This.
Me.......A house?
Spam...Your friends will be AMAZED at the chicks you're pulling.
Me.......What makes you think that?
Spam...It gets you hard with minimal side effects!
Me......."It" gets me hard with no side effects.
Spam...Enjoy your intimacy in the best possible way!
Me.......I do. That's why there are no side effects when it gets hard.
Spam...She won't resist you
Me.......That helps it get hard.
Spam...It's important.
Me.......Yes, it is.
Spam...Healthy living is easily achieved!
Me.......Nothing worthwhile is easily achieved.
Spam...Who says you can't have it all?
Me.......All of what?
Spam...Never lose hope to improve!
Me.......Improve what?
Spam...Comply Strictly With The Given Instruction
Me.......Apparently you don't know me very well.
Spam...Fine, I won't tell them.
Me.......Tell who what?
Spam...When I was your age we had eight inch floppies.
Me.......How old are you?
Spam...Change your tiny tool into a POWER DRILL
Me.......My handyman has his own tools.
Spam...Unleash the potential power in your pants.
Me.......Natural gas?
Spam...You're My Dream.
Me.......You're my nightmare.
Spam...Confirm Receipt
Me.......Yes, got it.

4 comments:

Nicole said...

Omg! I love this!!

You are too funny, of course you knew I'd love the spammy funny!

Thanks for making me laugh tonight!

Unknown said...

LOL!!!

That was hilarious... I completely enjoyed it...

Have a great spam free day...

Neva Flores said...

This is right up my alley. I am so tired of unsubscribing to crap that I just delete them now and move on. I have had a bit of fun in the past sending obnoxious emails back to these guys....they still write me. :(

Anonymous said...

Great post,I have had my share of spam and have creatively used it in articles myself.

Bravo, excellent post!